Things that give you the sh1ts

[JK]

I use Uber all the time, only exception is if their load* surcharge is too high .. can you order a 5-seater thru Uber?

[Spargo]

Arseh*les who don’t pick up after their dog, I’ve encountered this twice in the last week.
First was a bloke on Melbourne St who’s pooch was dropping nuggets whilst still walking. He seemed oblivious so I pointed it out as it was on the footpath out the front of a business I was about to enter. “Oh, ok” he said. I came back out & he’d simply kicked one of the droppings further up the footpath. WTF???
The second was last night on the Esplanade at Brighton, I’d pulled over to send a text message & this woman stopped by a tree whilst her dog laid one. She couldn’t tell I was watching her. She bent down halfway (with plastic bag in hand) looked around to see if anyone was looking, and left it there.
I caught up, slowed down & waited until more people were nearby - “I hope a lazy, selfish dog owner let’s their dog shit on your front lawn & leaves it just like you left your dogs shit back there under that tree” I yelled
She had nowhere to go & everyone was looking at her now - bitch.

[Magellan]

Arseh*les who don’t pick up after their dog, I’ve encountered this twice in the last week.
First was a bloke on Melbourne St who’s pooch was dropping nuggets whilst still walking. He seemed oblivious so I pointed it out as it was on the footpath out the front of a business I was about to enter. “Oh, ok” he said. I came back out & he’d simply kicked one of the droppings further up the footpath. WTF???
The second was last night on the Esplanade at Brighton, I’d pulled over to send a text message & this woman stopped by a tree whilst her dog laid one. She couldn’t tell I was watching her. She bent down halfway (with plastic bag in hand) looked around to see if anyone was looking, and left it there.
I caught up, slowed down & waited until more people were nearby - “I hope a lazy, selfish dog owner let’s their dog shit on your front lawn & leaves it just like you left your dogs shit back there under that tree” I yelled
She had nowhere to go & everyone was looking at her now - bitch.

Well done. No excuses for not picking up after your pooch. It's not that hard.

[Lightning McQueen]

Arseh*les who don’t pick up after their dog, I’ve encountered this twice in the last week.
First was a bloke on Melbourne St who’s pooch was dropping nuggets whilst still walking. He seemed oblivious so I pointed it out as it was on the footpath out the front of a business I was about to enter. “Oh, ok” he said. I came back out & he’d simply kicked one of the droppings further up the footpath. WTF???
The second was last night on the Esplanade at Brighton, I’d pulled over to send a text message & this woman stopped by a tree whilst her dog laid one. She couldn’t tell I was watching her. She bent down halfway (with plastic bag in hand) looked around to see if anyone was looking, and left it there.
I caught up, slowed down & waited until more people were nearby - “I hope a lazy, selfish dog owner let’s their dog shit on your front lawn & leaves it just like you left your dogs shit back there under that tree” I yelled
She had nowhere to go & everyone was looking at her now - bitch.

Well done. No excuses for not picking up after your pooch. It's not that hard.

Not straight away anyway.

[Pseudo]

Arseh*les who don’t pick up after their dog, I’ve encountered this twice in the last week.
First was a bloke on Melbourne St who’s pooch was dropping nuggets whilst still walking. He seemed oblivious so I pointed it out as it was on the footpath out the front of a business I was about to enter. “Oh, ok” he said. I came back out & he’d simply kicked one of the droppings further up the footpath. WTF???
The second was last night on the Esplanade at Brighton, I’d pulled over to send a text message & this woman stopped by a tree whilst her dog laid one. She couldn’t tell I was watching her. She bent down halfway (with plastic bag in hand) looked around to see if anyone was looking, and left it there.
I caught up, slowed down & waited until more people were nearby - “I hope a lazy, selfish dog owner let’s their dog shit on your front lawn & leaves it just like you left your dogs shit back there under that tree” I yelled
She had nowhere to go & everyone was looking at her now - bitch.

Well done. No excuses for not picking up after your pooch. It's not that hard.

No, it has to be left for a few days in the sun to go hard...

[Booney]

When you're about to walk out the door and head to Adelaide Oval and shit goes to ******* shit at work and you're going ******* nowhere.

**** it. *******....*******....******* **** IT!

[Gozu]

I remember once sitting down on the base of a tree that was covered in leaves and after a few seconds noticing a god awful smell looked down at my shoes and hiding in amongst the leaves had been a big fresh dog shit that now covered about 2/3 of the sole of my shoe. If there had have been a dog around I would've wiped it all over the bloody thing. Stepping in fresh dog shit sounds funny until it actually happens to you.

[Lightning McQueen]

I remember once sitting down on the base of a tree that was covered in leaves and after a few seconds noticing a god awful smell looked down at my shoes and hiding in amongst the leaves had been a big fresh dog shit that now covered about 2/3 of the sole of my shoe. If there had have been a dog around I would've wiped it all over the bloody thing. Stepping in fresh dog shit sounds funny until it actually happens to you.

At least you had shoes on and didn't seep between the toes.

[mighty_tiger_79]

at least you didn't sit on it

[amber_fluid]

I remember once sitting down on the base of a tree that was covered in leaves and after a few seconds noticing a god awful smell looked down at my shoes and hiding in amongst the leaves had been a big fresh dog shit that now covered about 2/3 of the sole of my shoe. If there had have been a dog around I would've wiped it all over the bloody thing. Stepping in fresh dog shit sounds funny until it actually happens to you.

It’s funny for the rest of us mate

[Gozu]

Admittedly I've got a bit of a smile on my face thinking back about it I was so pissed off took me a couple of hours to get clean it all off stuck in all the grooves of my soles, to be honest I would've rather stepped in it barefoot. Hell of a lot easier to clean.

[Magellan]

I remember once sitting down on the base of a tree that was covered in leaves and after a few seconds noticing a god awful smell looked down at my shoes and hiding in amongst the leaves had been a big fresh dog shit that now covered about 2/3 of the sole of my shoe. If there had have been a dog around I would've wiped it all over the bloody thing. Stepping in fresh dog shit sounds funny until it actually happens to you.

This post should be moved to the "Dogs that gave their shits to you" thread.

[bennymacca]

Admittedly I've got a bit of a smile on my face thinking back about it I was so pissed off took me a couple of hours to get clean it all off stuck in all the grooves of my soles, to be honest I would've rather stepped in it barefoot. Hell of a lot easier to clean.

Squirt it with the hose outside. Takes a minute or two and shoes are clean.

Unfortunately I know from experience

[Gozu]

Admittedly I've got a bit of a smile on my face thinking back about it I was so pissed off took me a couple of hours to get clean it all off stuck in all the grooves of my soles, to be honest I would've rather stepped in it barefoot. Hell of a lot easier to clean.

Squirt it with the hose outside. Takes a minute or two and shoes are clean.

Unfortunately I know from experience

This was out in public there were no taps around lol

I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm still scarred

[Lightning McQueen]

This was out in public there were no taps around lol

I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm still scarred

You don't belong here if you're not talking shit!

[PatowalongaPirate]

Getting junk mail in my letterbox when it clearly states No Junk Mail.

What makes it worse is that it was a pamphlet from the Adelaide street preachers directly linking same sex marriage to Nazism.

[Spargo]

Getting junk mail in my letterbox when it clearly states No Junk Mail.

What makes it worse is that it was a pamphlet from the Adelaide street preachers directly linking same sex marriage to Nazism.

Sorry, won’t happen again...

[Booney]

Getting junk mail in my letterbox when it clearly states No Junk Mail.

What makes it worse is that it was a pamphlet from the Adelaide street preachers directly linking same sex marriage to Nazism.

I guess they didn't consider it "junk"?

[tipper]

Getting junk mail in my letterbox when it clearly states No Junk Mail.

What makes it worse is that it was a pamphlet from the Adelaide street preachers directly linking same sex marriage to Nazism.

lol. someone should let them know its a little late. i believe the governor signed the bill last night.

[Corona Man]

Getting junk mail in my letterbox when it clearly states No Junk Mail.

What makes it worse is that it was a pamphlet from the Adelaide street preachers directly linking same sex marriage to Nazism.

Sorry, won’t happen again...

Next time he goes away, put his mail in the bins.