Things that give you the sh1ts

[Pseudo]

Get away from Apple and everything will be cherry ripe

These puns are making me Snickers. I don't know how much Moro I can take!

[am Bays]

Juicy fruit stories to chew over here lads

[DOC]

I think all this Polly Waffle should be in the politics thread.

[tipper]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

[Booney]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

Boss - Right, we're starting random drug tests.

Employee - Sweet! Whatyagot?

[Lightning McQueen]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

Boss - Right, we're starting random drug tests.

Employee - Sweet! Whatyagot?

I reckon pricks here keep codeine tablets in their lockers in anticipation for our randoms, they walk out the door with a big smile on their face knowing they have 3 days of paid leave ahead of them.

[Brodlach]

How does that work LM?

[tipper]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

Boss - Right, we're starting random drug tests.

Employee - Sweet! Whatyagot?

I reckon pricks here keep codeine tablets in their lockers in anticipation for our randoms, they walk out the door with a big smile on their face knowing they have 3 days of paid leave ahead of them.

now theres an idea....

[MW]

and a formal warning I am guessing

[Lightning McQueen]

How does that work LM?

Codeine registers the same as other opiates, the test then goes to the lab which takes 3 days to return with the findings.

They get away with not having to work for that period and there are no repercussions.

[Lightning McQueen]

and a formal warning I am guessing

Nope, they work shift work and do long shifts, illness is prone with a workforce of around 200 so it's quite easy to justify that you needed some tablets to get you up and running.

[heater31]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

I think we work at the same place. What a ******* joke [emoji850]

[Lightning McQueen]

upcoming mandatory drug and alcohol awareness training.....

still no one has been able to tell me if i have to bring my own drugs and alcohol or if they are provided.....

Boss - Right, we're starting random drug tests.

Employee - Sweet! Whatyagot?

I reckon pricks here keep codeine tablets in their lockers in anticipation for our randoms, they walk out the door with a big smile on their face knowing they have 3 days of paid leave ahead of them.

now theres an idea....

It's the same at most places mate

[Bum Crack]

How does that work LM?

Codeine registers the same as other opiates, the test then goes to the lab which takes 3 days to return with the findings.

They get away with not having to work for that period and there are no repercussions.

So if they're on prescription Codeine, they still get sent home for three days?

[Lightning McQueen]

So if they're on prescription Codeine, they still get sent home for three days?

Yep, you don't even need to be on a prescription, you can get it over the counter, you can say you've been unwell.

[amber_fluid]

So if they're on prescription Codeine, they still get sent home for three days?

Yep, you don't even need to be on a prescription, you can get it over the counter, you can say you've been unwell.

Not from early next year you can’t.
Any codeine based product requires prescription from next year.

[Alaska]

One Government Department has recently ruled that if you pop a codeine you have to go home.

[Lightning McQueen]

One Government Department has recently ruled that if you pop a codeine you have to go home.

Far out, I want a job there, my work have seen me here on my death bed with abscess' and I've told them it's only the drugs holding me up.

[Bum Crack]

One Government Department has recently ruled that if you pop a codeine you have to go home.

That's ridiculous. Valium will be next probably.

[Brodlach]

I’m not sure if I could be anymore bored at work even if I tried


Very quiet morning