Favorite quotes

[OnSong]

Peter: Brian, can I see that paper for a sec? [Brian hands him the paper] Huh, that's odd. I thought that would be big news.
Brian: You thought what would be big news?
Peter: Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Peter: Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard...
Brian: Heard what?
Stewie: Brian, don't!

[Baron Greenback]

Well everybody's heard. About the bird!

[Bum Crack]

I'm quite upset you don't like my fur coat. I made it outta your mother's pubic hair.

[JK]

Hank Evans: Vagiclean," huh? What's the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco?
Mrs. Bittman: Excuse me?
Hank Evans: No, excuse me. There's no tag on this.
[grabs microphone]
Hank Evans: Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough.
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Irene P. Waters: What are those for?
Charlie Baileygates: Oh! It's just this stupid thing. I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal.
Irene P. Waters: What's it called?
Charlie Baileygates: Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
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Narrator: It's funny how a man reacts when his heart has been broken. Some men break down and cry like a baby. And some others take an uzi and climb a clock tower.

[Danger Mouse]

Classic
Hank: Still wanna skip-roping in the street?
Little Girl: I'm gonna tell my daddy on you, Charlie!
Hank: Wrong answer. And the name's Hank, f***face.

[JK]

Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
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Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that ******* dumb-ass smile off your rosey, *******, cheeks! Then you can give me a ******* automobile: a ******* Datsun, a ******* Toyota, a ******* Mustang, a ******* Buick! Four ******* wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of ******* nowhere with ******* keys to a ******* car that isn't ******* there. And I really didn't care to ******* walk down a ******* highway and across a ******* runway to get back here to have you smile in my ******* face. I want a ******* car RIGHT ******* NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're ******!
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[LMA]

Who's the d*ckhead now, eh - Lethal Weapon 2
Let off some steam, Bennett - Commando
Hey you guys - The Goonies

[Sorry Dude]

You motor boat them didnt you.....? You motor boatin son of a b1tch!
Wedding Crashers

[White Line Fever]

Every time I in the kitchen...
You in the kitchen...
In the god damn refrigerator!

Friday

[Strawb]

Policeman: "Okay boys you're under arrest."

Beavis: "Don't we like have the right to call someone?"

Policeman: "That's correct."

Beavis: "Okay hehehehe. Then I call you a dumbass. Hehehhhehhehe."

[HH3]

Lenny: "BLACK? Thats the worst colour!! No offense Karl."

Karl: "Nah, get it all the time."

[Strawb]

Butthead" Hey Beavis its like hard but its not hard

[Mr66]

'Mandelbaum'
'Mandelbaum'
'Mandelbaum'

[Strawb]

Them Be Angel Tits

[Pseudo]

Them Be Angel Tits

Hooray!

Ah, you're a sexy woman Flo...

[maxyoz]

Them Be Angel Tits

Hooray!

Ah, you're a sexy woman Flo...

Where's cat? Cat dead.

[Strawb]

pizza Cat

[Buttscratcher]

Buttscratcher......Buttscratcher......

[Baron Greenback]

Buttscratcher......Buttscratcher......

Ha!

[the big bang]

Them Be Angel Tits

Hooray!

Ah, you're a sexy woman Flo...

Where's cat? Cat dead.

sooooooooooooo many lines, so little time

(so little room in HELL!)